wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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