Got a toothbrush?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
