We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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