dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
