"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
