In the future we'll all be gay
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
