Christians are straight up FREAKS
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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