we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
