are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize