I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
