There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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