I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
