can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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