But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize