Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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