please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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