He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
