Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
