What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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