too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
