i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
