she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
