So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
