i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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