oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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