Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
