My Higher Power is John Stamos
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
