shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
