is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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