i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
