So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
