If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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