He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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