i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
