Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
