sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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