Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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