dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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