it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
