I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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