I want to walk on stilts...naked
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
