david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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