so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
