Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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