Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
