she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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