clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
