Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
how drunk are you?
Several
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
