im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
