What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
