We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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