im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
