Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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