The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
