do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
