You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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